Wouldn’t you know it, my chronic insomnia got the best of me and I missed my legal consultation appointment. Even with the alarm set and going off right next to my head, and all I thought, disoriented, was, “what is that noise?” and turned it off. That was after a S0ma, meditating, 2mg klon, then a second s0ma. I felt like such a loser.But after that sleep, I was eager to figure out (our) taxes. I didn’t want the moody “bear” to keep requesting an extension. I was a bit rusty, having been out of the workforce for so long, and yes, even looking around for any bookkeeping opportunities I could long ago, but in many of those employed years, I either got a refund or I made so little, including interest income, that I didn’t have to file. We married at the end of 2018, me for property rights and him for the benefit of filing jointly. Not the usual romantic reasons, and I was already too old to start a family, and not interested in adopting anything that’s human. Well, turns out he didn’t itemize his deductions in the past few years after all, because I couldn’t find any schedule A of his. In digging around for that, I found the SSA-1099, that I thought they hadn’t sent, filled out his Social Security Worksheet, following what he did for the year before. The Qualifying Dividends and Capital Gains Worksheet was a real drag. I swear, these worksheets and forms are deliberately more complicated than they should be. I made a mistake the first time, then went to check my math, redid it, then found yet another error, but finally got it all done. I had some stocks myself, from 2000 to probably about 2015 or so, that I couldn’t wait to unload because NASDAQ and the tech stocks took a dive soon after I bought them. But I don’t remember whether I had to fill out such a worksheet and if I, it wasn’t as complex as it is currently.So I got the total amount of tax he owes. It’s the most tax he’s ever owed the government. Six figures. He checked my math as we sat together…I haven’t felt as close to him in years. Imagine, bonding a bit, over a 1040. He hugged me afterward and I felt useful. My whole mood lightened, as it had something to focus on besides my grief and tension.The rest is up to him, as I wrote that he has to transfer the funds to his checking account, then use pen to fill out the forms to be sent to the IRS and write the check and send it out. I would do the inked forms, but his penmanship is and always has been, so much neater than my own. Which is encouraging, because I remember when aged relatives of mine wrote to me, their handwriting deteriorated. I’m afraid mine has too, maybe it’s genetic? All I know is that I often have trouble reading my own diary entries and notes on my calendar. Back in school, I had to do my best. Even in my 20s, it looked good, and I put effort into it. Maybe it’s feeling overwhelmed, IDK. But at least it comes easily for *someone*. He insists on not getting things ready to send out until next month, as we have till the 15th ( and as I reminded/nagged him, mailing time as well a few days before that).Yes, it’s a tough balance, knowing when to assert myself and make requests, and knowing when to not poke the bear, because I don’t want things to escalate, like the previous years. It’s exhausting.